Run Ragged

I feel like I have been pushed to the end of my rope. I am so dissatisfied with my boss. I wish I could fire him. Just because he has a secure (as in one person can fire him and she sees him once a year) job, does not mean he should be such an ass. I shouldn't even have to care, either, because my six month eval. is coming up and I get a ten cent raise. Ten cents. A fucking dime. Not even a pay phone call. Not even a fucking text messages worth. So why should I work harder? Why should I be nice to him? To keep my job? I would get more through unemployment! Ah glorious minimum wage. I do look forward to my federally mandated minimum wage increase:) Suck on that seventy five cents, asshole.

On another note, I have been so busy with work, etc, that I haven't gotten a chance to breathe, let alone type. So busy that there was so much shit I wanted to talk about, that I completely lost it. No idea.

The other day... I don't even remember which one at this point, we went to a party with the people the Husband works with. It was hillarious. I lost track of how many drinks I had and wow, how I needed to. All I need to do now is wait another month and I will go out and buy for myself. Oh glorious vodka. Oh fantabulous rum. How I have missed you both. (tequila can kiss my ass, that shit fucks me up). Oh a cigarrete was nice, too. I had the most un-smooth cigarette the day before and it was gross. Then that night of the drinking I had a nice and smooth one (I only remember parts) and it was nice. I don't smoke on a regular basis, and dont like to have more than one when I do. I really did have a pretty good time. Especially since they were all strangers to me.

I am going to start a little mini diet on Tuesday. Last time I did it I lost eight pounds in four days (and kept it off for a few months). I just hate the meal plan and it is so hard not to eat very often. I mean, it is not that difficult, but it is hard not to have a snack or toast or a small glass of milk or something. But it really is a miracle diet. I am going to try and do it once or twice a month now. I need to lose about fifty pounds (I want to lose about seventy). But I dont want to think of it like that. It is too much. Very overwhelming. I am just going to think of it as a few pounds at a time. As much as I can. I eat healthy, I dont understand why I am fat. I hate it. I think I just want liposuction or something. Fucking hate fat. Mine anyway.

A good thing: I found some fake moss the other day. They are actually fake "moss covered rocks". I love moss. It is weird. I love green things, but moss... moss is just so pretty. So calming. I am not sure. I do love it though.

Cars, Careers, City, Cockasses

Let us start with the "cockasses" portion of this whole shebang. My boss, is a cock ass. He has scheduled me the worst shifts possible for the last two months. I have worked every weekend since I started. On friday I work until eleven o'clock pm, with no break, and then on saturday I work at ten in the morning. After six days straight of working with no day off and days with no breaks. This guy is pissing me off. He totally gypped me out of my breaks too. If he had scheduled me for FIFTEEN more minutes I would have gotten my break, but NOOO. What a fuck. And next week is the same way except worse. UH.

Careers: I have given up on the going back to school to teach thing. I don't believe that I am motivated enough, and I do not think that I am passionate enough about it to spend that much time and money just to go work at a school and put in time there just to make ends meet. Not into it.
However, my Husband (who is in school for drafting/architecture) realized that he hates drafting. He is really good at it, but he hates it. So we are going to move back to the City *YAY* and he is going to go back to cooking. But instead of just cooking to make money, he is going to cook to become a chef. Neat:D I am just really excited about moving back to the city. This "city" we live in now is fucking rural and ridiculous. I hate the people here, I hate the minimum wage here. The only good thing is that we have a nice apartment and his family is here. He is going to finish up one more year of school, though (I hope I can make it that long) so that he has the degree for the time he has already invested so he has something to show for it/to fall back on.

Cars: We are currently car shopping because both of our cars are shit. (husband's car is WAY shit). We found one we think might work out, but I am not sure about husband's ability to talk their price down. Not that I do not have faith in him, but that I just haven't seen it before and he can be too nice sometimes. My dad always went with me when I bought cars (Lame I know), but it worked out because I always left with 1k more money in my pocket because he always talked them down that much. Oh well, I hope it works out. Although, the car we are looking at is a little small. We need something like a subaru or something with more space, but Husband doesn't like subarus (subaru, subari, what the fuck is the plural of Subaru) and says he would feel like a loser. Oh well.

Finally a day off

I know it hasn't been, but I feel like I haven't been off work forever. I have been getting so ridiculously angry at people at work lately that I feel like I need a week off of work not just a day. Customers have been driving me crazy. I like to think that I like people, but oh my god, I could not handle it. Basically, do people not punish their children anymore? Are there no consequences anymore? I understand wanting to BE understanding, I get not agreeing with abuse (who does) but seriously. Just SPANK the fucking kid already! If they are hanging up phones in public (like walking up to the work phone I was on with a customer and hitting the hang up button because I was not getting their fucking video game for them and they couldn't wait a damn minute) and you are not even saying anything to them?! I think that those parents need to be punched in the face... or the nuts, it depends on the gender. Both of them will get a punch in the ear. I swear. I NEVER behaved that badly in public! I would have only gotten away with it once, I will tell you that much.
AH
Oh well. I can not tell them how to raise their children, but it does not put any hope in my heart for my future.
On a lighter note, the game Lost Odyssey is ADDICTING.

Today, I Accomplished Nothing

I found out this morning when I was about to get up for work, that I did not work today. So I did.... nothing. I sat around basically all day and played on the computer and talked with a few people. I talked to my younger sister who's ex boyfriend is being an ass. He was her first love and he broke her heart and so she is getting over it, and then, at a party, he comes up to her and says "I fucked my manager, does that bother you? Does that make you feel good?" and just kept going on and on. She was pissed and he, drunk, started yelling at her and she got angry and it was bad. This guy that I used to know (who was also an ass when I knew him, but apparently is nice to her) took her away from him and tried to make her feel better. I think her ex is a dick.

Well, in the mood of my day being uneventful and not achieving much, I am going to cut this short, because I want to drink another beer before I go to sleep to wake up to a job that is lame in the morning.

A week ago...

That's when my last post was. Just about a week ago. Nothing amazing has happened in that span of time. I have figured out that if I go back to school for four years, and pay two hundred dollars a month, I will be over fifty five when I pay off my student loans. So I am not thinking that I will go back. Especially since I wont be making anything over 40k/yr in the career I want. I want to the mall today while my husband went fishing with one of his best friends. The one that told the both of us he doesn't like me. The same one who supported his fiance when she stabbed my husband and myself in the back. It's not that bad, but they compeltely alienated us. Anyway, went to the mall, and on the way there I rocked out to a new cd, and was happy feeling and felt confident as I drove. But when I got there and walked around, I started feeling more alone and invisible. I felt like everyone saw me and thought "ew" and then ignored me so as not to draw attention. I felt like I was walking in a veiled bubble or something. Got sidetracked and went to Target. I ended up buying salt and pepper shakers. I dont need them. I always end up seeing really cute things, and wanting to buy them, and then looking closer and finding out that they are salt and pepper shakers. We have a bunch. My husband is annoyed by it, you can tell. I try to find cute things to make me feel happy, I think. I think I am getting sick. Again. I have my fourth or fifth sore throat of the year. I HATE being sick. No shit right? Everyone hates being sick, but I talk a lot at work, and it is rough. Plus it makes me feel worse when I work, because I can not work very hard and dont want to get fired. Then again, I do really want a new job, but I do not want to train again, or be the new kid again, or be the "I have only worked here a month" person again.
Oh well. Have you heard of pizza beer? It sounds delicious or disgusting.. I am not sure. I know I would try it.
So, I think I am going to go, because I have been drinking. My pains are all numbed, but I am numby. It is nice. (I have to work tomorrow, it is not that nice, haha)