Run Ragged

I feel like I have been pushed to the end of my rope. I am so dissatisfied with my boss. I wish I could fire him. Just because he has a secure (as in one person can fire him and she sees him once a year) job, does not mean he should be such an ass. I shouldn't even have to care, either, because my six month eval. is coming up and I get a ten cent raise. Ten cents. A fucking dime. Not even a pay phone call. Not even a fucking text messages worth. So why should I work harder? Why should I be nice to him? To keep my job? I would get more through unemployment! Ah glorious minimum wage. I do look forward to my federally mandated minimum wage increase:) Suck on that seventy five cents, asshole.

On another note, I have been so busy with work, etc, that I haven't gotten a chance to breathe, let alone type. So busy that there was so much shit I wanted to talk about, that I completely lost it. No idea.

The other day... I don't even remember which one at this point, we went to a party with the people the Husband works with. It was hillarious. I lost track of how many drinks I had and wow, how I needed to. All I need to do now is wait another month and I will go out and buy for myself. Oh glorious vodka. Oh fantabulous rum. How I have missed you both. (tequila can kiss my ass, that shit fucks me up). Oh a cigarrete was nice, too. I had the most un-smooth cigarette the day before and it was gross. Then that night of the drinking I had a nice and smooth one (I only remember parts) and it was nice. I don't smoke on a regular basis, and dont like to have more than one when I do. I really did have a pretty good time. Especially since they were all strangers to me.

I am going to start a little mini diet on Tuesday. Last time I did it I lost eight pounds in four days (and kept it off for a few months). I just hate the meal plan and it is so hard not to eat very often. I mean, it is not that difficult, but it is hard not to have a snack or toast or a small glass of milk or something. But it really is a miracle diet. I am going to try and do it once or twice a month now. I need to lose about fifty pounds (I want to lose about seventy). But I dont want to think of it like that. It is too much. Very overwhelming. I am just going to think of it as a few pounds at a time. As much as I can. I eat healthy, I dont understand why I am fat. I hate it. I think I just want liposuction or something. Fucking hate fat. Mine anyway.

A good thing: I found some fake moss the other day. They are actually fake "moss covered rocks". I love moss. It is weird. I love green things, but moss... moss is just so pretty. So calming. I am not sure. I do love it though.